LATE-IDENTIFIED AUTISM & ADHD

Maybe you’ve spent your entire life feeling like everyone else got the instruction manual.

You lose things. Miss deadlines. Walk into rooms and forget why. Start projects with genuine excitement and somehow end up surrounded by half-finished hobbies.

Or maybe that’s not your story at all. Maybe you’ve always looked like you had it together. The organized one. The responsible one. The overachiever. The helper. The one who somehow keeps everything moving while quietly wondering why it takes so much more effort than it seems to for everyone else.

Perhaps you’ve spent decades studying people. Learning the rules. Watching facial expressions. Rehearsing conversations. Forcing eye contact. Leaving social situations exhausted without fully understanding why.

Maybe you’ve always been told you were “too much.” Or “too sensitive.” Or “too intense.”

Or maybe everyone simply assumed you were anxious. Or gifted. Or shy. Or quirky.

For many adults, discovering the possibility of ADHD, autism, or another form of neurodivergence later in life isn’t about finding a new identity. It’s about finally having language for experiences that have always been there.

Sometimes people worry they’re “making it up.” That social media convinced them. That they’re looking for excuses.

What I often see instead are people who have spent years blaming themselves for struggles that make much more sense when viewed through a neurodivergent lens.

Exploring neurodivergence doesn’t require rushing toward a diagnosis. Sometimes the most important question isn’t, “Am I autistic?” or “Do I have ADHD?” It’s, “What helps me understand myself with more compassion?”

Whether you ultimately identify as autistic, ADHD, both, neither, or something else entirely, therapy can be a place to untangle years of masking, shame, burnout, trauma, and misunderstanding.

As a neuroqueer therapist, I don’t see late identification as becoming someone different. I often see it as finally having permission to stop fighting yourself.

Sometimes therapy isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about meeting the person you were before survival started making all your decisions.

If you’re exploring late-identified autism, ADHD, or neurodivergence in Seattle or anywhere in Washington through telehealth, I’d be honored to see if we’re a good fit.

Schedule a free consult

frequently asked questions

  • Not at all. Many adults begin exploring neurodivergence later in life after recognizing themselves in their children, learning more about autism or ADHD, or realizing they’ve spent years masking their differences. Therapy can help you explore these questions with curiosity rather than pressure.

  • No. Many people come to therapy because they’re wondering about neurodivergence but aren’t looking for—or don’t yet have—a formal diagnosis. We can explore your experiences without assuming where the journey will lead.

  • Yes. Therapy can provide space to understand lifelong patterns, reduce shame, explore identity, and consider whether neurodivergence helps explain your experiences. The goal isn’t to convince you that you are—or aren’t—anything. It’s to help you understand yourself more fully.

  • Many adults were never recognized because they learned to mask their differences, developed strong compensatory strategies, or didn’t fit stereotypes about autism or ADHD. Increased awareness has also helped many people recognize patterns that were previously misunderstood.

  • Yes. I provide secure online therapy for adults throughout Washington State.

  • We’ll spend about 15 minutes talking about what brings you to therapy, what you’re hoping for, and whether we seem like a good fit. If it feels like a good match, we’ll talk about next steps.

Schedule a free consult